The 3 amigas after mudbugs game!
sleeping in is great. beyond great, unless you havent been able to sleep at night and you wake up periodically throughout the night. typical night for me recently. when i finally decided to wake up and go to lunch with the girls, i found out my class was cancelled 15 minutes before class time…. cant email people anymore.. oh well. i was sad because it was organic chemistry class and thats my happy thoughts class.. it makes me happy and keeps me positive. oh well. this semester is almost over with, which means this year is almost over with, which means a new beginning for me…. hopefully.
had a girls night with emily tonight. it was very much needed.. went and saw the harry potter movie.. pretty good, and close to the book so i was pleased. then we went to mcalisters for dinner, got me the usual bacon spud, yummm. it was wierd because around that time an old guy friend texted me saying its been a while and he missed me and wanted to hang… ye….. no. very wierd tho. then we went to copelands for cheesecake to kill my craving… i hate cravings but i have to satisfy them in order for them to GO AWAY! after i went to a psychic to clear some stuff up and man i knew there were people sending negative energy to me, but i didnt think it was this bad.. explains the nightmares and lack of sleep. what did i do to have people to be jealous of me. why focus on my life. why not focus on your own and live your own life. jealousy is not worth it, ever. she was able to help clear thoughts for me and tho i may still be confused, its not as bad as it used to be. i hope it gets cleared up soon.. confusion hurts my head
today, thursday, a day closer to friday. a day closer to the weekend. a day closer to no classes. its one of those days where you feel if you can make it, then you are set, just for the weekend until sunday comes around and then youre bummed because the week then starts over again and you go back into the same old routine….
thursday is inevitably the longest day at school for me. yuck. botany lecture was a dread. i swear all i want to do is sleep in there. it is hard to understand what we are learning and where we are at in the chapter, book, or powerpoint. i will probably have to take it over again. :/ microbiology, talk about food and food infections.. oh joy. i didnt keep me from being hungry tho. i swear my stomach must have been participating or something because it wouldnt stop rumbling, and it wasnt one of those little rumble sounds, it was like “RRIEUHRIEURPWEIRHWJFBLOOEROEWJFNWOEIRHIWBROPIERWBRIHBIRHORROROROO!” it was ridiculous. she let us out early, and the next place you found me was in the micro lab doing tests on my unknown to attempt to figure out what it is… this is extremely difficult.. i hate it. curse you stupid bacteria. i spilled some on me tuesday and found out today it is NONpathogenic, so im safe. lol.
ate lunch with just emily today, caught up on some good ole memories, funny as heck and lucky us with our to go drinks, we got BENDY STRAWS! last time only alex got bendy straws, so we facebooked alex and rubbed it in her face that we got bendy straws.. its a big deal to get one of those. lol. went to accesory city and got some CUTE rainboots because buzgo told us we were taking a “field trip” to the ditch to look at plants…. yay… talk about a freezing bore. it was funny but it was definately boring.. emily ended up finding a kittypillar in her fruit and her face was priceless when it was found. man oh man. it was a lovely little nature walk, better than sitting in the classroom taking notes.. not looking forward to that final by the way.
so i found an old poem i wrote back in high school. i figured id share:
true love, joyful harmonies, a calm day upon the sea. hidden treasures, sealed lips, unspoken memories, special gifts. hopeful promises, endless trust, deserving honesty, never lust. unwanted distruction, natural protection, simply trying, sincere affection. careful wishing, blissful dream, perfect life, forever serene.
well happy thursday.. thanksgiving a week away. what are you thankful for.
another day, another night, time slowly passing by. did i mention i have NO patience. writing this, actually typing, keeps me temporarily sane for the 2 seconds it takes to type whatever comes to mind.
happy hump day everyone. just a typical wednesday. as you can see earlier, in my art class, my “stress reliever” class, drew a hawk.. i would say its my best drawing to this day ive done this semester in that class. im proud of it. it really calms me and gets my mind off of things.. lunch with the girls was good. alex opened up to me and told me, just like everyone else, that i should wait, that i should be patient. he is worth it. the more people tell me, the more confident i feel in being patient.
i know i am a nerd, but im sure what im about to say will confirm that i am a huge nerd… but everytime i go into biochemistry and organic chemistry class, i feel happy. it calms me down and im excited to learn and it keeps me motivated and thinking. biochem is so fun, all we do is case studies and its fascinating to learn. ive learned now to not eat wild mushrooms… good thing i hate mushrooms period.
shriners, i can always count on shriners to put a smile on my face. even tho i only volunteer there, i know that i am helping all those kids there and its great. there was a little boy today strolling down the hallway in his wheelchair pretending to be a choo choo train. man oh man it was priceless, i loved it. then some random older gentlemen, another volunteer, decided to come over to the inpatient talking about theories. this was his theory on how drinking alcohol makes you smarter: “drinking alcohol kills brain cell correct? well in Darwin’s theory of Natural Selection, he stated that only the strongest and fittest survive in the environment, therefore those genes get passed on to the next generation. Well drinking alcohol kills the weak brain cells therefore the strong brain cells survive. therefore shows that you get smarter.” dude, i laughed so hard i swear i almost peed on myself. and this man was serious too. it must have taken a lot of effort for him to have come up with that, but oh my goodness, at least he paid some attention in science class, just not all. hahaha man oh man. if you dont understand, ponder on what his theory was for a second there and come back to me later.
this night has gone by extremely slow overall. i rewrote all my notes, finished my drawing, laundry, dishes, the works. and its only 9:25. geeze…… i guess imma go get this crest whitening strip off my teeth.. goodnight.
its tuesday, nov 16, 2010. the only tuesday that will ever be nov 16, 2010. wow. its fascinating when its just another day, but if you take a moment to pause and really think, its not just another day. Its a one of a kind day. its you becoming a day older, someone is born, someone dies. 2 days are never the same. it will never repeat, just start a new. crazy….
today was a typical tuesday. sitting in botany class, listening to buzgo ramble on about seed plants. the heavy european accent sounds sort of like kermit the frog. its pretty entertaining in class even tho i am struggling with a D in there. Dont ask about that grade, im pushing for a C, but knowing me, i will retake it and strive for an A. Im crazy like that. Microbiology is always fun, learning about diseases and what bacteria/viruses cause that disease and its symptoms. dr. burden is such a hoot. thank god she decided to make the final exam not comprehensive because that is just tooooooooo much material to review and stuff. did i mention i really do not like either microbiology or botany… well i dont. but its pretty fun in those classes. microbiology lab was pretty interesting. I swear one day i will master the gram staining without getting the stains on my hands. we started our unknowns today and that worries me. its a lot of test i have to do and i hope to get my unknown right. my grade could really use it.
other than that, its been a typical day at home studying. 2 weeks left of classes this semester before the final exams. i am so ready for it…. sort of. medical school, your requirements are kicking my butt, but youre worth it in the end.
talked to 2 friends today about a current situation. both know how impatient i am and know how i can be. BOTH told me to be patient and wait. when my best guy friends tell me this, then damn boy you must be worth the wait. i just hope they are right. like one said, maybe you are just wanting to make sure it is the right thing before you become fully committed. the other said i should go hunting, really teaches you to be patient. 1. i dont have any hunting equipment and 2. i dont have a hunting license. he said its not about killing things every time you go out there but its about being out in nature and relaxing, being patient, waiting for a deer to walk by enjoy the freshair and stuff.. i think imma stay in doors where its nice and warm and technologically enhanced. lol.
but its just another tuesday…
so this is the first time ive ever done something like this since probably middle school. so its time to play catch up in order for everything to make sense.
so back in june, I broke up with a guy I had dated for a little over 2 years. I just wasnt happy with him anymore. I mean I would drive him everywhere, pay for everything, miss class to hang with him, skip studying for him, and much more. Yes I was dumb for spending so much time on someone who really didnt care. My grades ended up slipping, I went from graduating with honors in high school to a 2.4 GPA after my sophomore year in college. Well the last 2 months that I was dating him, I was spending a lot of time with my best guy friend. He ended up leaving for basic back in May which made it even harder with all that was going on. What was unbelievable was whenever he was leaving, the last text he sent me was “Im gone, Love you :)”. I was in tears. He ended up coming home early due to some screw ups with paperwork and other stuff, so who knows when he will have to go back. Well when he came home, I ended up leaving for Brasil a week later. We spent as much time together before I left and kept in touch while I was gone for that long month.
Fall semester began and everything was going well, my grades have been improving, except for 1 class, but no one is really passing the class im struggling in. So it doesnt count. lol. Well things started getting better between me and the new guy that were talking. Did I forget to mention that we worked together? Yea we did. So we would see each other all the time. He would take me out to movies and dinner and get mad if I paid, or tried sneaking the check. Southern Gentlemen is what he is. I took him to 2 LSU games for his birthday, yea I really care about him. I told him that I love him and he eventually admitted he felt the same way towards me. He even went out of his way to buy me a Florida gators book as a “just because” gift and he really doesnt like florida. It was sweet. We both ended up quitting our job and surprisingly got a new job at the same place. At this time we were doing extremely well, not in a relationship tho, longer story for that reason. But if I had to describe what we were, it would be an open relationship yet we chose to be exclusive. Crazy I know but thats the best I could describe it. I mean my parents, both of them, mom and DAD, liked him. Oh and my brother loves him too. Thats a big deal for my whole family to like him. but back to the new job. Everything was going well, training was fun and everyone seemed so nice and helpful, it seemed like we made the right decision getting a new job. Boy were we both wrong. It ended up screwing me over. They didnt pay me for one of the days of training, no one would help me whenever I needed it, they scheduled me on days I could NOT be there, they forced me to close when someone called in without a valid reason, i ended up making a 70 on my microbiology exam bc the schedule they gave me made it impossible to study for it, the managers didnt really care and didnt really help. It stressed me out so I ended up quitting. Well on top of that, he ended up quitting because he was making no money, they gave him ridiculous schedules, and they werent helping him either. It stressed him out a good bit too. So around that time he stopped texting me, would talk to me for only 2 seconds if i texted first. Practically showed no interest. I ended up texting asking what the deal was because why continue trying to be with someone you love if they are just completely ignoring you or if they arent interested anymore. He told me that he never had a change of heart or anything, he just wanted some time for himself. I completely understand that, but let a girl know, especially if you went from talking to her everyday to not at all. I told him I understand it just I just dont want to try going for a relationship if he wasnt feeling it anymore. the last thing he told me was “just be patient please”.
Which leads to now. Patience is NOT my name. I hate being patient, I always have to be doing something, keeping myself occupied, always on the go. Patience is just not in my blood. But I told myself if I really want to be with this guy, then patience is something I desperately need to learn. I really care about this guy. The first one to come into my life and really treat me right. Really show me what is important and how to live. I love him to death. I miss him. I just hope everything works out.